May 5, 2014

Hey Mom and Pop

 

so its been a crazy week so ill take it day by day haha..

 

so Tuesday..

woke up in the morning and i couldn't see anything. my eyes were in so much pain and they were so sensitive to light it was killing me. so we went to the hospital and they said i had a scratched cornea or something. so they put my on oxycodone and eye drops. and ordered a ton of sleep which was great i loved it.

 

then Wednesday my comps had a meeting in grand junction and i went with a missionary buddy of mine in rifle for the day. slept in till 11;30 was blind for a while. and we went to lunch with a recent convert there shes way cool. been through a lot. and slept some more. then went to the same recent convert for a lesson and she gave me a awesome pair for oaklies for my eyes so that was awesome. id like to serve there someday

 

then Thursday. i felt like garbage all day. the meds were really taking a tole on me. slept a lot did some shopping. and ended the day by making little bombs and breathing fire and doing the caprisun challenge. which is 15 caprisuns in 15 minutes. or basically drink as much as you can until you throw up.. it was awesome..

 

then Friday was interesting. i had a follow up with an eye doctor in town and it was soo dumb he treated me pretty poorly. and wasn't very nice. i was there for like 10 minutes and charged me $136,, sooo stupid. but it turns out that i had an ulcer the whole time instead. so i got new eye drops that are worth $145 for 3mL super dumb. almost had to pay that too. but i talked to sister Murdock and she got it all cleared with missionary medical or i would have had to pay all of that.. but i was in such a bad mood all day because of it. so i made a fire arrow and shot a bottle filled with a little gasoline.. didn't really work. so i made some queso. rough day

 

Saturday night we went into the shed on at our place were living at. which is member owned but they're gone for now.. and we caught two birds. it was pretty fun. we named them cornelius and jaques. it was fun. we let them go Sunday morning.

 

Sunday was really good. church was great and i was struggling with a few things. its not so much obedience lately just cuz I'm with zone leaders so I've been pretty obedient the past few transfers and its been great i love it. but i was struggling with a few personal things and i got your package today and i loved it! best package i ever received. i loved all the pictures. especially Kaley getting engaged haha to Derek hahah that's pretty awesome.. any way but yeah i loved it. and new contacts which was perfect because i couldn't wear my old ones anymore and it was my last pair. but i especially loved dads letter. i was praying and fasting for help with a few things and his letter was literally and answer to my prayers and it couldn't have come at a more perfect time. it helped me out so much its not even funny. because i was struggling so bad. i was even asking for a different trial if He would just take this one away from me. but dads letter helped me out soo much. i was great. It was amazing how it all worked out. it really helped me know how much Heavenly Father knows and Loves me. it was the perfect letter at the perfect time.. it seriously couldn't have been any better

 

so yeah its been quite the week for me. but I'm loving it up here in Craig. I'm loving my companions. they are so great. its a great area with some really amazing people

April 28, 2014

hey momma

 

 i can email again ... yay.. i got transfered. im in craig now.. middle of nowhere. im with Zone leaders again. this time by my own choice. my companions are elder Serr and Barfield. they are super great and really funny. i love it. our address is

 

639 green street Apt # 4

craig, CO 81625

 

i honestly dont really have much to write this week. sorry . i feel  really lame. ill write more next week i promise

 

love you tons.

 

Elder Bowler

April 17, 2014

Hey Mom/Dad-

So, a lot has been going on lately.  I had a talk with president and he told me that I'm being transferred and I'm going to be put with someone who is struggling with obedience.  And he wants me to help this Elder out to be obedient.  He asked me if I could be able to step up and set the example of obedience and honestly, I'm pretty scared.  I really don't know if I'm ready to do that because I know how I am and I know how quick I am to mess up and go back.  All my life it seems like every time something came up to do the wrong thing, even though I know it's wrong, I'm totally down.  And yes, it's extremely stupid, but true.  Even though I know what's right, I seem to deliberately choose the wrong.  Even on my mission, I've done things that I didn't even do at home and I'm so ashamed and angry at myself for doing.  But one thing I'm learning on my mission is the power to change.  Not only investigators, but especially myself.  The Atonement is real and it works.  But, I'm afraid that given the opportunity to be disobedient , I might take it because even with the Zone leaders, i wasn't the best I should have been.  I want to be better and I want to be obedient.  I don't know if I'm ready to help someone else be obedient when I'm still struggling with it.  I don't know.  I'm so confused.  I really don't want to go back to the way I was and I'm so afraid that given the chance, especially with someone else who struggles with obedience, I feel I might go right back into that mess.  President seems to trust me and he's inspired, so I guess the Lord trusts me too.  I just don't trust myself.  No, I haven't been the best missionary I can be.  I want to be but I'm not there yet, so I'll be doing a lot of fasting and praying.  I need help...bad!

Thank you so much for your last letters from FHE.  They made me so happy and once again came at the perfect time.  I love it.  It's been a pretty good week, though.  I've been in a really good mood.  Still a little rough with Elder Gonzalez, only a few more days though.  Transfers are on the 22nd.  So don't send anything here.  It's been nice to look over the transfer and see how far I've come.  It went by fast.  It's crazy.  Pretty soon, I'll hit a year and Derrek will be coming home.  Crazy!  It all goes by so quickly.  It's nuts.  This transfer has been really good for me though.  Tons of praying and fasting and my testimony has grown so much.  I'm so much of a better missionary than I was before all this.  They always say the most important conversion is your own and I really see that.  I've really grown to love this gospel and I appreciate it so much more in my life now more than ever.  Especially going into so many homes that don't have it and teaching and bearing witness of it has grown my testimony so much.  I love my mission mostly right now for the change I see in myself and how much better I am because of it.  As soon as I get myself all figured out, then I'm gonna help everyone!  It really helped me to remember that I chose to be out here.  I knew there would be things for me to give up and things for me to start doing.  Because of that choice to come out.  Some of my other choices may be limited, same with bad choices...go to jail.  Choices are limited because of one choice.  But, I chose to be here.  Might as well live up to that and be here for the right reasons.  Thanks for all you do for me.  I love you with all my heart.  You are the best parents anyone could ask for.  Miss you tons!

Love,
Elder Bowler

PS - you should know how much our mission quotes "Nacho Libre".  It's crazy!  Reminds me of home.

March 31, 2014

I just got your second letter today and thank you so much for that.  I am so excited for General Conference.  I can't wait and I'll do what you said with the questions and the prayer.  I love listening to them speak.  Sorry to hear about the kittens and jury duty.  Life's rough.  The area is good.  It's pretty ghetto.  Being in a Branch is interesting.  We have so many people to see , there's just not enough time and it's already split into two areas.  But, no one comes to church .  Hard sometimes because in the ghetto there is so much evil that we see and hear.  It's so hard to see and you know the message we share will bless their lives and make them truly happy, but nothing seems to change.  Also hard.  planting sees is nice, but when we're called to do the harvesting, it does get discouraging.  But, there are so many great people who are so prepared for the gospel, it's amazing to see.  Today has been really good.  I've really seen the blessings of fasting to help me have clean thoughts and stay in a good place to be a good missionary and a good person.  It has been really good lately and I owe it all to the Lord.  He has helped me out so much.  The past few weeks truly have been a refiner's fire for me and though it's still hard, I truly feel the Lord changing me.  I just want it to be for good.  I'm scared that I might easily fall back to my old ways.  It's scary for me.  

Yes, I got Wendy's package and I wrote her a letter.  I got the shirt stays, but they don't really work.  The clasps on them don't hold well at all, so I don't know what you want me to do.  I'm praying for Calvin, though.  I think about him and worry about him all the time.  I've seen the evil and pain that that path leads to.  I've talked to so many people like that and I really don't want him to go through the same things.  It kills me to see people go through that.  Let alone, my own brother!  Many tears and prayers for him.  I love him more than he'll ever know but I also know that he has agency.  He has to go through this to learn and yeah, it's hard and sad to watch, but I love him and that's all I can do right now. 

Apparently we are getting iPads in April.  Everyone gets their own and when you're done with your mission, you get to keep them.  I don't know how it's gonna work, but I'm guessing it's gonna be highly regulated and any misuse will get them taken away.  Also, I don't know how the people of Colorado will take it.  We drive nice cars (we got a brand new 2014 Corolla), we dress all fancy and now we have iPads?!?  Especially here in the ghetto parts of the mission where most everyone can barely afford food and we bring in this iPad.  I don't know.  I just think some people won't like that very much.  Makes us look like spoiled rich kids.  But on the plus side, it would be so nice ot have it during a lesson and pull out videos and what-not.  And I'm sure the first few months will be the worst of it.  Just like getting anything new, everyone is gonna freak out for the first little bit (me included!).  Then the excitement will eventually die down and maybe rise a little each time new missionaries come and get iPads.  Man, blessings of serving a mission.  Things are going good though and getting better.  Thanks again for all the support and love I've received in the past couple weeks.  I've really needed it and it has helped more than you'll know.

Love ya,

Elder Bowler #2

PS- Just a couple of things I want to ask about

1.  Do I have one of those missionary plaques?  Cuz I see them all the time and was told that you just have to ask the Bishop, but I'd like one and idk if I even get one.

2.  I'm out of extra contacts and missionary insurance doesn't cover it.  I can last for a while with the ones I have in and I still have those glasses but yeah.

3.  could you also send a bunch more pictures like you did in the last package.  I like to hang them on my wall.

March 30, 2014

Hey Everyone,

I'll start out the letter by saying that it was a really rough week.  You can decide if you wanna keep reading.  But first before I start, the sd

card I included is completely full so if you would be so kind as to putting it all on a computer and take it off the card, then maybe put more pictures and stuff from home for me to look at.  It would be greatly appreciated.  Alright, back to the letter.  So starting off Monday not being able to email was so hard for me.  it's like my support for the week and going a couple weeks without it has been killing me.  So the whole week was pretty rough because of that.  Then Monday I was horribly sick and that carried on for a little bit.  And I've been struggling really bad with myself and bad habits and messing up and I talked to President about it and along with the rough week, it's been super hard and discouraging and I've felt extremely inadequate with myself and not having the spirit with me as a missionary is hard.  So yeah, rough week.  Ok, enough of that, now for all the good/funny/cool stuff...

Here is my side of the room and our study set up with my comps.

So last Sunday we were talking with a ten year old kid named Zack who is actually supposed to be baptized soon and as we were talking, he stopped and asked "why, when I look at you guys is there a white light surrounding your bodies, every time I see you there's this white light around you that's different from everything else".  I got all teary eyed because it was a rough day for me.  Helped me know that God loves me and makes me wanna be better because of all the people watching me as a missionary especially kids.  Josh Beecher wrote me a really good letter that seemed to come at the perfect time.  Another thing that makes me laugh is just some of the people we come across.  Like, we were at Wal-mart and this guy looked at me and looked at my tag and yelled "Praise Jesus! Hallelujah!"  It was pretty funny.  We come across a lot of interesting people and people think we're weird.  We come across a lot of drunks and people that are high.  It's great.  The week has been pretty cool, though.  One night, I was praying really hard, struggling from not emailing and telling the Lord how much I need to hear from family and the next day I got your letter.  Just another way of God showing me that He loves me :).  This week has been one of a lot of struggles but also a lot of change and improvement of myself.  I've come to know the power of fasting and prayer.  I've grown so much closer to my Savior and my Father in Heaven, learning to be patient with myself with my weaknesses and mistakes, which has been so hard especially for me.  Messing up a lot, I get mad at myself and discouraged, so being patient with myself has really helped me out this week.  Also, striving to worry less about myself and more about the people I'm serving.  It's crazy sometimes because we as missionaries get so involved in these people's lives and being a tool in the Lord's hands.  It's really humbling sometimes because something cool will happen and I'll think to myself "why would the Lord choose me to have something like that happen?!?" because I never felt worthy enough to deserve miracles and blessings.  But, I've come to know how much Heavenly Father loves me personally and it's been a rough but amazing process for me to come to know that.  I love it.  I love the ever present possibility of change.  I can always change and better myself and who I am.  It's helped me to realize what is truly important to me in my life.

Just want you guys to know how much I love you guys and appreciate all the help and support I have received.  It has made a world of difference to me and my own journey.  I wouldn't be where I am at today without everyone in my life and the example they've set.  I love youse (ghetto Denver talk...hahaha!) guys.  Miss ya tons.  Keep writing and sending stuff, please!  I love it!

Love Elder Bowler

POOP ON SATAN!

March 13, 2014

Hey Momma-

So I guess I won't be able to email much for the next little while.  So, if you don't hear from me too often, don't worry too much.  I just don't like writing too much.  But, I guess I'll try and fill you in as best as I can.  Sooo...long talks with President.  I made him pretty mad.  I don't blame him, though.  There has been so much pain, trials, and growth in the past week, it's been crazy.  I've been transferred to the Barnum Park North Branch.  It's pretty fun serving with Elder Gonzonlas and Elder Selfaison.  Great guys and lots of fun.  They're both Zone Leaders, so I'm kinda being baby sat by them for a transfer.  My address is:

4545 Morrison Road, #206
Denver, CO  80219

I've been doing a ton of thinking lately.  Mostly about my mission also.  Up until this time, I always wanted to draw the line of obedience so that I could get close to it and still be a good kid/missionary.  So, it was easy for me to fall and when I did, I fell pretty hard and I'm understanding how far from that line/cliff that I want to be.  My companions are great.  They're really helping me to be really obedient and a better missionary.  It's a long process and I have a long way to go, but I'm determined.  All that disobedience and stuff I shouldn't be doing has only brought me misery and pain.  Happiness comes from obedience, hard work, and love.  I really want to be happy and I'm working on it.  We do a lot of work here and I love it.  I'm all gung-ho about missionary work again.

Much love,
Elder Bowler

PS - send money :) Thanks!  Also, I could use a few more shirt stays.

March 10, 2014

Yeah its been a pretty crazy week. so much has happened. lots of long talks with president. traveling around a ton. talking with a ton of different elders that ive grown to love. a lot has happened. transfers are tomorrow. ill let you know where im at as soon as i can. but im gonna be staying.. ive been doing a ton of thinking and this past week has been the hardest week ive had probably ever. but the main thing is that all my life when ever a hard thing would come i would usually tend to run from it and go watch a movie or stare at the stars or go fishing or something. but on a mission i cant really do those things. and now when this hard thing came i had no where to run to and actually having to face it has been so hard. but i need to. so that when life gets hard again later on when im married i already know how to get through it. and out here on a mission with nothing else to turn to to run away from it ive been learning to turn to the lord and its helped out a ton. i havent been the most obedient elder in the mission. and i was upset because i couldnt do two years of what i have been doing. i almost feel like the first six months have been wasted. but talking with president. ive decided that i need to change and be better. the rest of my mission needs to be better if im gonna do this for another year and a half something needs to change. so i went and destroyed all of my disobedient stuff and decided that from now on im going to give it my all and try to be the best that i can be and not waste any more of my time. i know that its going to be hard. but i have the lord on my side now. and hes there when ever i need him. which will be pretty much always haha. being a missionary has easily been the hardest thing ive ever done. but im tired of running from all my problems. its time for me to buck up and face everything and quit worrying about myself. this isnt for me anymore. although i have alot to learn and alot more to grow. my mission is for the lord and those who dont have this wonderful gospel in my life. i want to be the best i can. to live with god again and be able to face him with confidence knowing i did my best and didnt waste the two years i have to give back to him. it wont be easy but its so worth it.

i love you soo much. thank you for all your support and love. and the good talks. now that i am away from home i love talking to you guys. you have helped me so much. i truly have the best parents in the world. love ya!!