Thursday, April 24, 2014

March 30, 2014

Hey Everyone,

I'll start out the letter by saying that it was a really rough week.  You can decide if you wanna keep reading.  But first before I start, the sd

card I included is completely full so if you would be so kind as to putting it all on a computer and take it off the card, then maybe put more pictures and stuff from home for me to look at.  It would be greatly appreciated.  Alright, back to the letter.  So starting off Monday not being able to email was so hard for me.  it's like my support for the week and going a couple weeks without it has been killing me.  So the whole week was pretty rough because of that.  Then Monday I was horribly sick and that carried on for a little bit.  And I've been struggling really bad with myself and bad habits and messing up and I talked to President about it and along with the rough week, it's been super hard and discouraging and I've felt extremely inadequate with myself and not having the spirit with me as a missionary is hard.  So yeah, rough week.  Ok, enough of that, now for all the good/funny/cool stuff...

Here is my side of the room and our study set up with my comps.
So last Sunday we were talking with a ten year old kid named Zack who is actually supposed to be baptized soon and as we were talking, he stopped and asked "why, when I look at you guys is there a white light surrounding your bodies, every time I see you there's this white light around you that's different from everything else".  I got all teary eyed because it was a rough day for me.  Helped me know that God loves me and makes me wanna be better because of all the people watching me as a missionary especially kids.  Josh Beecher wrote me a really good letter that seemed to come at the perfect time.  Another thing that makes me laugh is just some of the people we come across.  Like, we were at Wal-mart and this guy looked at me and looked at my tag and yelled "Praise Jesus! Hallelujah!"  It was pretty funny.  We come across a lot of interesting people and people think we're weird.  We come across a lot of drunks and people that are high.  It's great.  The week has been pretty cool, though.  One night, I was praying really hard, struggling from not emailing and telling the Lord how much I need to hear from family and the next day I got your letter.  Just another way of God showing me that He loves me :).  This week has been one of a lot of struggles but also a lot of change and improvement of myself.  I've come to know the power of fasting and prayer.  I've grown so much closer to my Savior and my Father in Heaven, learning to be patient with myself with my weaknesses and mistakes, which has been so hard especially for me.  Messing up a lot, I get mad at myself and discouraged, so being patient with myself has really helped me out this week.  Also, striving to worry less about myself and more about the people I'm serving.  It's crazy sometimes because we as missionaries get so involved in these people's lives and being a tool in the Lord's hands.  It's really humbling sometimes because something cool will happen and I'll think to myself "why would the Lord choose me to have something like that happen?!?" because I never felt worthy enough to deserve miracles and blessings.  But, I've come to know how much Heavenly Father loves me personally and it's been a rough but amazing process for me to come to know that.  I love it.  I love the ever present possibility of change.  I can always change and better myself and who I am.  It's helped me to realize what is truly important to me in my life.

Just want you guys to know how much I love you guys and appreciate all the help and support I have received.  It has made a world of difference to me and my own journey.  I wouldn't be where I am at today without everyone in my life and the example they've set.  I love youse (ghetto Denver talk...hahaha!) guys.  Miss ya tons.  Keep writing and sending stuff, please!  I love it!

Love Elder Bowler


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