Yeah its been a pretty crazy week. so much has happened. lots of long talks with president. traveling around a ton. talking with a ton of different elders that ive grown to love. a lot has happened. transfers are tomorrow. ill let you know where im at as soon as i can. but im gonna be staying.. ive been doing a ton of thinking and this past week has been the hardest week ive had probably ever. but the main thing is that all my life when ever a hard thing would come i would usually tend to run from it and go watch a movie or stare at the stars or go fishing or something. but on a mission i cant really do those things. and now when this hard thing came i had no where to run to and actually having to face it has been so hard. but i need to. so that when life gets hard again later on when im married i already know how to get through it. and out here on a mission with nothing else to turn to to run away from it ive been learning to turn to the lord and its helped out a ton. i havent been the most obedient elder in the mission. and i was upset because i couldnt do two years of what i have been doing. i almost feel like the first six months have been wasted. but talking with president. ive decided that i need to change and be better. the rest of my mission needs to be better if im gonna do this for another year and a half something needs to change. so i went and destroyed all of my disobedient stuff and decided that from now on im going to give it my all and try to be the best that i can be and not waste any more of my time. i know that its going to be hard. but i have the lord on my side now. and hes there when ever i need him. which will be pretty much always haha. being a missionary has easily been the hardest thing ive ever done. but im tired of running from all my problems. its time for me to buck up and face everything and quit worrying about myself. this isnt for me anymore. although i have alot to learn and alot more to grow. my mission is for the lord and those who dont have this wonderful gospel in my life. i want to be the best i can. to live with god again and be able to face him with confidence knowing i did my best and didnt waste the two years i have to give back to him. it wont be easy but its so worth it.i love you soo much. thank you for all your support and love. and the good talks. now that i am away from home i love talking to you guys. you have helped me so much. i truly have the best parents in the world. love ya!!