Missionary in Colorado: January 27, 2014

Probably the best letter I've read in a really long time. Kinda sounds like a conference talk. Scott Bowler you are called to serve in the quorum of the seventy and you'll be giving a talk this April. haha. I can see it. Thanks Dad :) I definitely needed that. More than you'll ever know. This has been a crazy week so I'll try to see if I can remember it all.

So I'm being transferred tomorrow. I don't know where yet but I'll let you know as soon as I can. There's a long story that goes with that. So the past couple of weeks I've been kinda struggling and I realized that I really needed help. So I went and talked to our mission president and we had a little talk and I told him that I was struggling with staying motivated and a couple of other things and he said he's gonna put me with someone who is really motivated. And I told him about trouble sleeping, or that I sleep plenty but I'm not rested at all. ( BTW the mouth piece thing you sent me IDK if it is working or not. I still feel pretty tired sometimes, the very first night I used it I woke up like two hours later fully rested, which is kinda scary to show how much rest my body was used to getting. I really just need to get my tonsils out or something. The mouthpiece is like screwing up my teeth and my bite and every morning I have to chomp down to fix it haha.) Any ways, so President Murdock had me take a test thing to see how I was doing in certain areas like anger, depression, anxiety, relationships, and one other thing I forgot. So I took the test and they said that I should do some counseling. (The counselor's name is Kevin Beecher) I wonder if he's related to Josh. I'll ask. But yeah so far on my mission I've probably learned more about myself than anything. And I learn a lot. Constantly trying to fix my character flaws. So opening myself up more to people and realizing if I get hurt or whatever then I'll be fine. And one that I realized is a big one for me is that in relationships I am so deathly afraid to mess things up and ruin the relationship so I do whatever seems logical in my brain to help not ruin it and I then freak out and ruin it anyway.. confusing I know. I'll use an example, so basically like if I said or did something or sent a text to someone that may be a little sketchy or pushy or something IDK. I have no idea how the other person will take it. So sometimes I think I offended them and I freak out and try to fix it as quick as I can so I don't ruin the relationship but me freaking out just makes it worse and it falls apart... So yeah that's one that I'm currently working and I'm really getting a lot better. Trial and error I guess. And there's a lot of error for me to learn from haha. But it's alright I've realized that there is gonna be plenty of people in my life to meet so it's all good haha. My first counseling shin-dig is tomorrow. Hopefully it goes well.

Umm I guess that's pretty much it. Seems a lot more complicated in my head haha. I think the hardest part for me was realizing I need help and actually asking for it. I'm usually a pretty solitary guy. Not only asking for help from people around me but also from Heavenly Father. Realizing I can not do this on my own and I really need his help. Even tho I still have trouble asking for His help. I don't really do so good in the praying department. I never have been good at it tho. Another thing I still need to work on I guess.

I love you guys more than you'll ever know. I think about you daily and I've grown to appreciate you so much in my life. And I can't wait to see you again and give you the biggest hugs ever. probably wont even let go haha.

Thanks again for your letter. It made my week. Love ya tons

Love
Elder Bowler #2